remorse for all is gone

i need a new start.
i need a new interest.

or maybe i just need..
no want
something old to fall back on.

something that in time has allways been there and i've neglected it.
this maybe be my last entry... with this name.

however i need a new start.
a fresh begining.
or an eledged old one that was never finished.

asklbfgask;gdhasl;kd I HATE KIDS "at the disco" buy me a fucking sidekick

my name on here is gay

i wish i could change it

why the fuck am i listening to country music

damn i wanna play kingdom hearts

i wish i had enought money for WoW

because that would be tight

FUCK I WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES!

to bad im not going to see anti flag tonight :(

even though i could.. i just dont trust the car

i hate this stupid scene fashion thing.. taken from a bad 80's movie

fallout boy pisses me off

i really wish i had a NEW pack of 10 crayola markers

i dyed my hair purple sorta

alksdhgalsdghasdkhfalsdghasgdka;slkhg

oh and a BIG ps.

FUCK MY CHEMCIAL ROMANCE.. FUCK THEM FOR HAVING STUPID BELTS NOW!

FUCK ALL THE GIRLS WHO THINK GERARD IS HOT AND HAVE "i <3 gerard way" SHIRTS

FUCK ME FOR BEING HIS FUCKING TWIN SISTER

i hate my life as of now

Currently Listening Songs Not to Get Married To By Reggie & The Full Effect take me home please see related

Where do you run when there's no where to go

so basically reggie and the full effect  is my newest addiction.
i honestly believe this is worse than the 3 days i was on H.

reality really opens one's eyes when actually looking clearly through the blurred image.
lately it's been like a film has pursued it's self upon my eyes
and just now i've found the bottle of clear eyes at the bottom of my bag
popped a few drops
and can think with a level head

that's a pretty good metaphor for the past month.

i dont think without my best friend in my life, i could get through anything. seriously i mean she's allways there for me. picks me up when i fall down off the stool of life, or when i trip and fall. i've never had someone mean so much to me, aside from my mom. it's like her and reggie are my new life. i just feel like a completely new person. im glad he did the things he did to me. im glad it didnt work out the way that i wanted it to. im glad i got a phone call from a good friend last night that was meaningful and enlightening, and he wasnt on drugs. actualy the extent of our conversation was about how he's quiting.

and in the midst of everything.. SPRING IS ALMOST HERE!
atlass my favorite time of year!
it just makes me feel right.
i cant believe almost a year has gone by since i met some of my friends. it's pretty crazy.. last years events. my first inhaled breath of a lot of things. funny how paths allways seem to cross at the right times. and funny how the wrong things that seemed so right turned out ok in the end.

a couple weeks ago my teacher assigned us to write a letter, addressed to ourseleves in 7 years. it wasnt until reccently that i truely thought about what i'm going to be doing in 7 years. upon writing it i thought the worst was to come.. like i would be dead or something lame. but honestly there are so many oppertunities and possiblities out there for me. i mainly hope i get my music career together, so along side my friends i could be the happiest person alive. i guess we'll just have to wait and find out.

until then i say
see ya in the spot light

courtney

I scarecly write in here any more.
I've just become to busy...
Nothing much has really changed..
Still the same feelings of alone, and the mixed up complications of life
This next year is comming to fast
What sill ever become of me?
The music scene has turned into a popularity contest
And yet I continuously strive to mingle amung my friends
Lately there's just been to many
I miss how things used to be
I miss not being known
I miss the happyness in everyones voice
But a-lass
Winter is here......

Since my last update.. I've gotten all my hair cut off..

Wanted to kill myself numerous amounts of times

Have hated my life to much

And now I feel like crying